Don't Be An Asshat!

Mi hermana came for a visit last night, and we went to the local bar to get a few drinks and unwind from the week. Things were going well until an Asshat approaches and tries to hit on her using all the subtlety of a dump truck. For his approach to work, a woman would have to be moments away from unconsciousness. Needless to say, my sister was not impressed and did her best not to encourage him. After an excruciatingly long time, he took the hint and left.



Just say no to asshats!!!!!

Inaugural WTF Alias Post

I don't think that Jack's dying. I think that Dr. Lenny is working for the evil sister and is using the whole "clear your conscience" treatment method as a way of getting Jack and Sloan to reveal secretive info to Nadia's necklace.

The blood transfusions are laced with something that is making Jack worse. This would also mean that the original lab results that Marshall ran were a faked and there is likely a high-placed mole other than Dr. Lenny.

This should be interesting... stay tuned for next week's heart-pounding installment.


BTW, LORD MELMAN STILL RULES!!!!!!!!!

Computers Are Our...Friends.

At work today, our computer system was down. I was the lucky person who got to call tech support to try to get it fixed. The tech guy's initial thought was that the boot disk was damaged. However the backup didn't work any better. He then asked if we had any compressed air. After checking, I responded that we did not. He then asked me to blow into the floppy drive. I reluctantly agreed to do it, and while I was blowing the computer, several coworkers walked into the office. As you can imagine, the jokes began almost immediately. I was asked if the computer had even bothered to buy me dinner.

I hope you are able to take away a useful lesson from this horrid tale and always have a can of compressed air in your office.

Hallmark Sucks!!!!!

As you may know, Wednesday is administrative Professional's Day (Secretary's Day). I went to Hallmark tonight because I care enough to send the very best. I was expecting to find a plethora of choices with which I could express my off-beat and endearing sense of whimsy. When I arrived, I was severely disappointed. There was only a pathetic selection of cards. Most of these cards were of the sincere variety. The three "humorous" cards they had used the type of humor that would appeal to people who think that Urkel or Mamma's Family is the end-all of comedy. I was shocked at the pathetic selection and asked the clerk if there were additional cards in the Shoebox area. Sadly, she replied that there weren't.

I ended up going to Wal-Mart and buying two Spanish language cards. How sad is that?

Five Points of Happiness

I have returned from trip to the City of MAGIC. (I know this to be true because Segways are sold there. At least 3 per year.) It was fairly spiffy. If you need to spend time with the hobo chic of the Mid South, then Five Points is Nirvana. At the center of the district, there was a half-hearted protest. I'm not sure what these intrepid souls were protesting. By the looks of them, it was something that most everyone else is for.

Dave's is the place to go. By midnight the girl/guy ratio was VERY favorable for the men. Of course, I left shortly after. Apparently, if I have too much fun, my brain will melt.

If anyone hears rumors about the Vulcan being removed from its pedestal and strapped to the top of a Honda Accord, please keep in mind that they are just rumors and did not really happen.

It's Voicemail, people...VOICEMAIL!!!

Early this morning, I received an interesting voice mail. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but it could have been a failed American Idol audition. For the sake of this post, I'm referring to her a Millie Hung. Anyway, Millie was very enthusiastic about her musical selection and seemed to be using her music as a means to achieving inner peace. You go, girl!!!

No new info today about Sir Melman. I'd like it noted for the record that he still KICKS ASS.

I will soon be leaving to spend a night in the Magic City. Maybe something Blogtastic will occur there. Until then...

The Inspiration for My Blog

I'm sure that you may be wondering who Larry "Bud" Melman is. He was a character on the orignal NBC version of the David Letterman Show played expertly by the renown actor Calvert DeForest. Growing up as poor white kid in Mississippi, he was my inspiration. Long before it became fashionable, I could be seen wearing a "WWLBMD?" bracelet. When Letterman left for CBS, NBC got very pissy and would not allow him to continue using the character's name. It was deemed to be the "intellectual property" of NBC. BASTARDS!!!!!

The Most Powerful Man in Show Business