Opportunity Knocking

Hi. I hope you are doing well. I'd like to talk to you about a good opportunity for you and your loved ones. We all have dreams; I know I do. I'd like to talk to you about an exciting opportunity that people are talking about.

On second thought...maybe not. It's really just some lame-ass pyramid scheme that involves detergent or something. I'm not sure.

However, this is still far less annoying than the recent proliferation of blog ads.

Schfifty-five

Hey there, little blog reader. Do you want to know a secret? I know one...and it is soooooo good to hear it. I know how to post all the way to schfifty-five.

Yes...it is true. This is my 55th post and I could not be any prouder. In anticipation of such a momentous occasion, I went to Crescent City and participated in a Texas Hold-em Tournament. Of course, I lost, but I learned some very valuable lessons. None of which I can recall at this time, but it does not make them any less valuable.

Given how crappy my week has been, I hope that this signals the beginning of a new era. One where I am not some idiot's little bitch. It's a long shot...but I can always hope.

Why Even Bother?

There is an old adage that there is nothing so bad that some bureaucrat can't make it worse. This was, once again, proven this week, when the esteemed "big boss" created an arbitrary reorganization plan. This plan is in no way based on the realities of the our current situation and has caused much distress among those who will have to implement it.

This has caused me to wonder why I should be concerned about our performance. The powers that be obviously are too stupid to realize the idiocy of this plan or they do see it, but don't care. Either way, we are all screwed.

I need to find a more honorable profession. I could pimp... I already have the outfit.

Love Me Some Hot-water Toilets

This weekend, I stayed at the new abode of Mole and Vile Woman. A good time was had by all as a House Warming Party was held on Saturday. Laughably, I was co-hosting this event. In spite of my official status, the party went very well and all attendees appeared to have a good time. Afterwards, things got slightly out of control and unconfirmed rumors have it that Mole and I sang selected works from They Might Be Giants, The Offspring, and the Sound of Music.

However, the most interesting thing I experienced was the heated toilet in the guest bathroom. Apparently, the toilet is connected to the hot water. This could be a nice plus during the winter months. While it is likely an expensive extravagance, for someone of Mole and Vile Woman's wealth, it is a mere drop in the bucket.

On a completely unrelated note, I believe that I have become and full-fledged idiot. Sadly, running into a picnic table in the dark is now just the third dumbest thing I've done in the last month.

The Wit and Wisdom of Bruce Dickinson

MSU football season is only 3 weeks away. I'm afraid that I've already developed an optimistic outlook that is in no way based on reality. By the end of September, I'm sure that I will, once again, become the cynical fan that everyone has come to know and love.

However, it is August and the Dawgs are undefeated. I'm ready for some college football!

In honor of this occasion the inimitable Bruce Dickinson has agreed to make the following contribution to my blog.



Thanks, Bruce. I appreciate your enthusiasm.

p.s. GTHOM

Family Channel?

I was channel surfing tonight and came across the movie, Cruel Intentions. That wasn't surprising. What I did find disturbing was the channel that it was on: ABC Family Channel. I guess there is nothing more "family" oriented than a modernized version of Dangerous Liaisons.

At this rate, ABC Family will be indistinguishable from Cinemax in 6 months.