A Little Help

It appears that on Thursday I will be expected to give a leadership talk based on the theme of "The Foundation of Success." While I'm not exactly an expert on this subject, at least it's better than having to give a talk about "The Foundation of Long-Lasting Relationships." The interesting twist is that I have to give this talk while wearing a construction worker's outfit. (Don't ask why) If anyone has advice on what I could include in my talk, I would be eternally grateful.

Ten Things That are More Fun Than MSU Football

1. A trip to the proctologist
2. Lupus
3. Being marooned on an island with Michael Moore
4. Festivus
5. Watching reruns of The Nanny
6. Non-alcoholic beer
7. New Orleans Saints Football (just barely)
8. Picnic Tables
9. A visit to a rendering plant.
10. Death

What A Difference A Year Makes

I realized tonight that on November 17, 2004, I was on a cruise ship sailing from Montego Bay to Grand Cayman. This evening, I'm at home trying to decide whether I should turn my heater on for the first time this year... not exactly the same level of enjoyment.

OMG, They Killed Ted! You Bastards!!!!

Sam Lloyd, the actor that plays Ted on Scrubs also plays Bree's shrink on Desperate Housewives. He just got tossed off a bridge by George, the sociopathic pharmacist. WTF

The Hooverization of My World

To say I have received my share of bad news this week, would be tremendous understatement. As I have alluded to in my last couple of posts, positive developments have been few and far between. However, I think that the last revelation is the straw that broke the camel's back. It appears the Arrested Development will be cancelled. The number of episodes ordered this season has been cut to 13 and it has been put on hiatus through the end of sweeps. This means that we just have 8 episodes left. Be sure to treasure each one.

Also, my boss is a full-fledged f'oron. I have heard of people getting fired for the content of their blogs. If this post results in my firing, then it will have served me well. At 4:30 Thursday afternoon, this idiot send out an e-mail stating that all attorneys can no longer travel unless they have court on that particular day. I can't even begin to explain how flawed that edict is. Suffice it to say, this egomaniacal asshole must be stopped, and it appears that I'm the only person who can try.

Thank God MSU is not playing football today. That would be the only way this week could get any worse.

Dr. Love's Private School for Girls

The title of this post is not some alcohol-induced fantasy of mine, nor is it the title of some Cinemax After Dark feature. It is the subject of an genealogical e-mail that I received today as I am a member of a mail list that focuses on the Love family. Apparently, this school was located in Fulton, Missouri and was open during the 1840s. At this time, I know nothing more about it, but I hope to learn more.

On an unrelated topic, it would appear that my admission of error last week was a bit premature. Recent events indicate that my first assessment of the situation was largely correct. Any aural ambiguity I was experiencing, proved to be of no consequence. Unfortunately, this is a hollow victory, at best. I would have preferred to be wrong.

Till Death Do us Part

I received an interesting phone call this afternoon. It would appear that an acquaintance of mine will be getting married in the next couple of weeks. As glorious as this news is, I was less than thrilled. This could be attributed to the fact that I'm a petty person, or that even though I'm a doormat, I have my limits.

Rest assured, I handled this news in a manner befitting a rational, intelligent, and mature person such as myself. I went to my local bar and got stinking drunk.

Pieces of Flair

Gather your red swingline stapler, your defective fax machine, and your "Jump to Conclusions" mat- a special addition Office Space DVD has just been released this week! It includes commentary from the actors and Mike Judge, deleted scenes, an alternate Lumbergh ending, and DVD-ROM features.

I'm sure many of you are thinking to yourselves "Bo, this sounds like a great deal; how can I take advantage of such a wonderful opportunity?" The answer is easy. Just do the link. I live to give.

I've Made A Huge Mistake

Yet another thing that GOB Bluth and myself have in common, besides an inability to perform magic, is that we are always messing up and realizing it a little too late. It appears that my pessimism has started to affect my hearing.

After playing a select piece of audio to several people, the consensus is that I was incorrect in what I had thought I heard. It's amazing the different connotations that the words "we all" and "we" can create.

Now I'm left to try to figure out how to rectify this situation. Much like GOB, I'm sure whatever I do will only make things worse.

Night of 1000 (minus 992) Asshats

To celebrate All Hallows Eve, several associates and myself decided to appear at the local watering hole in specific garb which would be an homage to a certain high school history teacher. At the appointed time, we all arrived in appropriate dress, and a good time was had by all. Several waitresses were traumatized, but they seemed to have recovered reasonably well before the end of the night. I brought a camera and pictures will be forthcoming in the near future.