Bo's 2005: A Year In Review

2005 is only hours away from being gone forever, and I, for one, could not be any happier. To put it bluntly: this year sucked. My home was hit by two hurricanes, Dennis and Katrina, (oddly enough, I received more damage from Dennis), my heart was broken, I became very accident-prone, I made some very unwise travel decisions, I lost my last grandparent, my job was a hellish nightmare, and there was shockingly little utilization of Lord Melman by the media.

That being said, I don't want to give the impression that nothing positive happened this year. I realize that I am blessed and that most of this planet's inhabitants would gladly change places with me. I have a decent-paying job, a nice home, the best friends that anyone could hope to have, and very little fear of being killed for my beliefs. This year, I did get to go to the Lone Star state and spend an afternoon of fun on the river, I discovered the joys of blogging, I visited a brewery, I helped keep the Crescent City Grill profitable, and every so often an extraordinarily intoxicated female would take a liking to me.

However, on the balance, I still have to place this year firmly in the bad column. As a way of further supporting my categorization, I humbly submit the following list:

Top Ten Reasons that 2005 Can Kiss My Ass
10. No cruises
9. MSU Football
8. Dennis
7. Dressers
6. Last-minute trips
5. Naylor
4. Lowes
3. Katrina
2. Picnic Tables
1. Niblets (non-corn variety)


I hope everyone has a fun and safe New Year's Eve and 2006 is your best year ever.

Big Time in Vicksburg

I spent a good bit of my day in River City. I had sub-par barbecue, browsed through a very politically incorrect book, and went to the mall. I met a girl and after making small talk for a few minutes, she used a vibrating device on me. Shortly afterwards, I gave her money.

I'm already looking forward to my next trip.

Merry Christmas!

I hope all of you in Blogland have the bestest Christmas ever.

After last night, I'm in a much better mood as my chances for 2006 seem particularly bright. I was fortunate enough to watch Napoleon Dynamite and to receive the gift of spices. Now, whenever I want to make a move on a sweet honey, I'll tell her that I caught her a delicious bass. When she comes to my place to consume said bass, I'll make sure that it has plenty of "herbs for fish" sprinkled upon it. I'll get more tail than Sinatra.

Obligatory Happy Post

It's the week before Christmas, and I feel the need to make a postive blog entry. After re-reading many of my recent blog posts, I feel that I may have given the impression that my life is a hopeless pit of despair. This is not entirely accurate as there are some good things going on in my life at the moment. If you'll bear with me, I'll attempt to list some of them.

1. I only have two days of work left this year.
2. There are only 11 days left in 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. I will be embarking upon a trip to the tropics next month.
4. My boss has returned from Iraq.
5. Arrested Development may be saved by Showtime.
6. Out of the next 48 days, I only have to work 20.
7. Last but not least, my blog has a new reader.

I Want to Cry So Bad, but I Don't Think I Can Spare the Moisture

In case I haven't mentioned it lately, Arrested Development is the BEST SHOW EVER!!!!!

Friend of the Picnic Table

I was attacked by my chest of drawers yesterday morning. I survived, but was left with a gash in my forehead. Now, I'm having to wear a band-aid on my head which looks stupid. I'm trying to concoct a tale which would explain my injury and maybe make me more interesting to the fairer sex. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.