Confounding the Nielsons

I suddenly have a desire to watch Gilmore Girls. Can anyone posit a theory for my inexplicable behavior?

The Invisible Post

This is, without a doubt, the most inflammatory, provocative, incendiary, subversive and incitive essay in the history of the English language. It will turn brother against brother and create and general sense of civil unrest. If read by a sizeable portion of persons, it could darn well destroy civilization as we know it. Therefore, for the safety of our planet, I will display this with an invisible font.

It is as follows:

1. Your most deeply-held belief is absurdly and laughably wrong.
2. Michael Jackson is your birth mother.

Carl's CoC Strikes Back

Just when I thought it was safe to go outside my house, I am subjected to this eyesore:

This would be okay if I lived in Pearl , drank the Beast, watched Nascar, and had only four teeth. However, my goals in life are a bit loftier than scoring with some intoxicated MILF behind the local Superstop.

This. Must. Stop. If anyone has a truck they would be willing to donate to the cause, the CoC could greet Carl when he awakens at his new residence.

I Have Arrived!

Type my name into the Google search engine and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Oh, yeah!

In case you're interested, I'll be signing autograph's at VM's place over the weekend.


Edit: Apparently search engines are ever-evolving creatures. If you answered the call and took the challenge after April 12, you would not have be lead to the proper site. Oh well...you snooze, you lose.

Silence of the Lowe's

When I arrived home this evening, I discovered that there were two pieces of mail from Lowe's. Both articles proudly carried the official Lowe's motto of this year: "Let's Build Something Together"

I cannot begin to tell exactly how many expletives crossed my mind. It requires positive exponents much larger than have ever been considered.

Here's to You, Edna Sanchez!

I'll bet you have never been immortalized in a blog post before. That has changed. It's time the the entire vast Blogosphere realizes what a truly amazing individual that you are.

Even though, I don't know you, I hope that one day I can visit you in San Marcos, Texas. That would so totally rule!!!! I'm thinking we could hang out and play Sodoku.