"Outa My Way, I'm Drunk as Hell"

For anyone who cares, the first six episodes of 12 oz. Mouse are available for viewing on the net. Just go to AdultSwim.com (it's linked on my page) and click on the Adult Swim Fix.

You'll thank me.

He's too sexy...

I know all you females in the blogosphere are clamoring for a way to contact this perfect specimen of male virility. Alas, he cannot be yours. Three years ago today he was taken off the market when one very lucky gal made an honest man of him.

'Tis sad, but true. Sorry ladies.

R.I.P. Mole

I came to a very sad realization today. Our beloved reactionary, Mole, has passed away. I've been trying to avoid accepting this horrible truth for the past several months, but it's time to face the reality that Mole is no more. He's not commented since the month of April, and, as we all know, that is so unlike him.

At times like these, it is important to rally around the things that really matter in life and hope that we can derive a small bit of comfort from them. Let's not focus on the horrible fate that most likely befell him, but celebrate the sense of self-importance that his comments exhibited.

Mole, your were truly a prince among small disgusting burrowing mammals. I almost loved you, man.


That being said, it is as equally possible that he sutained a massive head wound, has amnesia, and is now the masked blogger...who really knows?

Violated: A Dramatic Reading by James Earl Jones

Today, the sanctity of my home was violated. My sense of safety was compromised. My faith in humanity was slightly diminished. I was the victim of a house burglary.

The thief crept in during my morning absence like a cowardly jackal, devoid of all human decency. Upon my return, I was confronted with his handiwork. As the realization of what had occurred registered, I became simultaneously enraged and frightened. I no longer felt like my home was a place of refuge; it had been besmirched and corrupted (like a $50 hooker in Bangkok).

As I try to recover from such an unfortunate incident, I can find solace in one fact: at least my pimp suit wasn't taken.

Slogan

I've decided that my blog needs a slogan. A short phrase that will summarize the philosphy of my blogging experience. To that end, I conducted a relentless search. After weeks of research and prayerful consideration, I am proud to say that my blog now has a guiding principle.

Click to view.

New Slogan