'Tis Better To Give Than Receive

This evening I was able to succesfully complete my Christmas shopping. It was a struggle, but I made it through as it appears that I may have the onset of the flu. When I returned home, my temperature was at a balmy 101.9 degrees. This should not be a suprise to anyone who knows me, as my chances of surviving the Christmas holidays without getting sick are slightly less than the city of Pearl being named home to the world Mensa headquarters.

As invariably occurs when you feel like total crap and want to make a quick trip to the mall, you get stuck behind an endless-parade of human debris- the trailer park-dwelling, NASCAR-watching, Beast-drinking, rednecks who have ablsolutely no clue how to act in a checkout line. Tha only pleasure I had tonight was that whenever I became trapped by one of Darwin's "little treaures, " I would cough in their general direction. Hopefully, I have made this Christmas just a little more exciting for the employees of the Lauderdale County Health Dept.

In this spirit, I would like to make a list of people on whom I would love to cough.

1. Ray Boswell (for those of you who don't know to what I'm referring, please visit www.wtok.com)

2. Twenty-three (twice)

3. John Reeves

4. Britney Spears

5. Edna Sanchez (we had a falling out earlier this month. Don't ask- it's still too painful)

Since I'm starting to hallucinate and see Rush's Moving Pictures albums don velour jumpsuits and dance around my head, I better go and lay on the couch.

So, to everyone in the blogosphere, have the best Christmas imaginable! ( 'cept for you five)