Teaching Poodles Calculus

As you may or may not know, I am an ambulance chaser. Unfortunately, my life is not nearly as exciting as it is for the television attorneys. When I have court, there is usually very little fast-paced, heart-pounding drama. In a word, it's boring. In fact, I don't spend a majority of my time conducting hearing in front of the judge. I spend it trying to negotiate with the adverse parties.

I had court in a particularly rural part of the state today. We had a extremely crowded docket and the courtroom was packed. As is the case, sometimes I have to deal with a series of potential candidates for this year's Darwin Awards. Today was one of those days. Each person seemed to be denser and more argumentative than the one before. Only through my fondness of eating, was I able to endure this without walking out. As I sat there trying to futilely make my point, I decided that it would be easier to teach calculus to poodles.

I'm not sure if there would be a market for this service, but if so, I am there. Cesar Millan, watch your back.